The “Obanje” way: Why being a misunderstood child is a superpower

Listen to Eunice Atuejide on the MHAI Talks podcast in the Happiness is Free episode. Many children get stuck with labels such as being “difficult” or "stubborn." Often, this comes from a disconnect between how the child feels and the expectations of their local surroundings or environment. 

This internal conflict is sometimes known as “belonging uncertainty,” and the causes are  difficult to pinpoint as they vary enormously with each individual. It could be triggered by a significant life event. For example, when a child goes to school for the first time, or changes to second- or third-level education, the stress of the situation can lead to feelings of being an outcast or not belonging. The same phenomenon can happen for women who try to enter a predominantly male-dominated field, like STEM, as well. 

And yet sometimes this feeling doesn’t have a recognizable cause – it just comes from who we are and from a very early age. It’s a deep-rooted knowledge that you are different. 

For children like this, childhood can be a trying period. But sometimes, it can also lead to something exceptional. 

This was Eunice Atuejide’s experience. 

Who is Eunice Atuejide?

Eunice Atuejide is a Nigerian lawyer, businesswoman, and politician who has lived and studied in 87 countries, across several continents. A polyglot with a background in business and film, she eventually turned to law and political activism. She is most recognized for founding the National Interest Party (NIP) and standing as a presidential candidate in Nigeria’s 2019 elections, where she advocated for technology-driven leadership and systemic change.

When talking about her early childhood, Eunice says, “My parents didn’t understand my unique needs. I was seen as stubborn – what we call an Obanje or ‘spirit child’ who doesn't belong in this world. I was treated unkindly because I asked difficult questions.”

Using “Obanje” as a superpower 

And yet, Eunice didn’t let this chastisement by authority tear her down in early life; instead, she looked upon it as “a gift”. 

“It allowed me to create a bubble,” she says. “When I was fetching water kilometers away or going to school without shoes, I’d tell myself, ‘Today I’m carrying water on my head, but tomorrow I’ll have a bike.’ I knew intuitively I didn’t want to end up in the dependency and poverty I saw around me.”

A rebel with a good cause  

If we wanted to put it in other terms, we could say that Eunice was naturally rebellious; but not in a James Dean Rebel Without a Cause way. She was more interested in agitating for good. 

Eunice’s rebellion was a conscious drive toward leadership and self-determination. Despite circumstances that offered no support for her ambition, she refused to accept the limitations of her environment.

"I already knew that I was going to be in leadership positions," she recalls. "I was saying to myself, 'that's not me. I’m going to do something about this.'" This refusal to conform to a story of "not being enough" became the foundation for her later work, as she began helping others rewire their own internal narratives and reclaim their personal power.

Tuning the "remote control" of the mind

In her mental health work, Eunice teaches that we all possess an internal "remote control system." Much like she did as a child, she encourages clients to tune out the external noise of the world and dial into their own frequency. 

"You have to tune into the channel you want," she explains. "If you tell yourself there are limits, that becomes your reality. But if you align your mindset with ease... your desires will flow to you."

From suppressed pain to personal power

Eunice doesn’t just focus on positive thinking; she advocates for a deep, honest confrontation with the past. Her coaching methodology is built on the idea of "using your trauma as your power." 

She helps individuals bring suppressed anger and emotional distress to the fore, turning past pains into "a source of energy to move their lives forward." By addressing these "buried pains," Eunice guides her clients toward a state of wholeness, proving that the stubbornness she was once criticized for was actually the strength required to heal. 

Tools to overcome your feeling of "belonging uncertainty”

Your story doesn’t have to be exactly the same as Eunice’s to identify with her. At some point or another, all of us have had a feeling of “belonging uncertainty” – and each of us can use it to become superheroes in our own lives. 

Eunice gives us a set of tools to do just that. 

The practical toolkit

To help others move from a state of "belonging uncertainty" to one of "wholeness," Eunice offers a practical toolkit designed to reclaim the mind’s "remote control." She emphasizes that while we cannot control external stimuli, we have absolute authority over our internal responses. "Happiness is really about making choices every second of your life and choosing the ones that give you the greatest amount of peace," she asserts.

The 7-8-8 Breathing Technique

One of her primary tools is the 7-8-8 breathing technique, a physiological "reset button" used to regain clarity during a crisis. "Breathing actually helps us get clarity," she explains, noting that it allows an individual to respond to a difficult boss or a chaotic environment with power rather than impulsivity.

Radical gratitude and forgiveness

She also advocates for radical gratitude, which involves finding five specific things to be grateful for, regardless of how dire the situation. By focusing on the "good things around you," Eunice believes you "pull in more good things," eventually lifting yourself out of poverty or distress. 

Finally, she teaches the gift of forgiveness, a self-cleansing process that removes the "acid" of resentment. For Eunice, forgiveness is not for the offender, but a tool to "lift the heaviness" and clear the path for "aligned action."

Want to find out more about Enunice? 

If Eunice’s journey from a misunderstood "spirit child" to a global leader resonates with you, there are several ways to engage with her. You can read her book, Happiness is Free: The Achiever's Guide to Clarity and Fulfilment. You can also work directly with her by booking a coaching session.

If you feel like an outcast, remember: you are already enough. The traits others label as "difficult" are often the tools needed to build an exceptional life. Happiness isn't a destination reached once problems vanish; it’s a choice made today to reclaim your peace.

For further resources or support, you can always contact us at MHAI. We are here to help you navigate your journey toward wellness.