Mentoring programs: Why young people need strong role models
Did you know that, scientifically, we are adolescents until the age of thirty two?
It’s not that thirty year olds should start wearing baggy sweatshirts and rolling their eyes at everything their parents say. It’s simply that our brains, on average, take thirty two years to fully mature.
Think about that. For the first thirty two years of your life, you are undergoing a process of cerebral development and all that this means – both positive and negative.
Before this age, our minds are more elastic, making them better able to learn or form new connections. If you are young, the world, cognitively speaking, is your oyster.
We become our environment
However, while young minds have enormous potential, much of it depends on how they are cultivated during that time. The environment we are exposed to as we grow has an enormous impact on who we are.
This is one of the reasons why, as the above article says, “many mental health conditions also tend to appear during this stage.” While we aren’t defined by our environment, it has an enormous influence on what we think, how we behave, and the lives we go on to live.
As NYU Professor Scott Galloway said, “The vaccine to keep boys from becoming broke, lonely men is a stable childhood with male role models."
While this is, according to studies, more true of boys, the fact is that all children and young adults need people to look up to as they mature.
In fact, a study shows that "1 in 3 young people in the U.S. will reach the age of 19 without having a mentor of any kind." This is why mentoring programs are so important. They can have a real, valuable impact on mental health, “including improving depressive symptoms and interpersonal relationships, and reducing stress experienced by their parents."
The same article found that young people facing the risk of not completing high school are more likely to enroll in college if they have a mentor, as well as increased likelihood to participate in extracurricular activities, hold a leadership position, and volunteer.
Modern problems: being “raised by algorithms”
While it has always been true that young people benefit from mentors, it’s probably more urgent today than ever before. Scott Galloway argues boys in particular are increasingly raised by algorithms rather than parents or mentors: in a Goop interview, he said algorithms “have had the effect of isolating them from the friction and feedback of the real world.”
It’s not only boys. A 2023 survey of more than 1,000 teenage girls, commissioned by the mentorship platform Être and conducted by the research firm YPulse, found that self-reported confidence dropped 20% between ages 13 and 18, with the share who said they felt anxious up 88% and stressed up 241% over the same years. Ninety-one percent said a mentor would directly raise their confidence.
The details differ, but the direction doesn’t. Either way it points to a generation with less steady, real-world adult contact than it used to have. That’s literally true, too – the number of kids growing up without a full-time parent at home has grown roughly sixfold since 1950: the US Census Bureau reports that “there were 9.8 million one-parent households [in the US] in 2023 – 7.3 million mother-only, 2.5 million father-only, up from just 1.5 million in 1950.”
Dr. Juvenal George’s own mentorship story
That’s not an abstract problem for Dr. Juvenal George, a licensed clinical psychologist who works with young men, college students, and, increasingly, the young professionals coming up behind him. In a recent MHAI men's mental health panel, he spoke at length about his own experience with mentorship – both the mentors he wished he’d had, and the ones who shaped him.
“I also think, for me, when I work with young men, they always talk about the importance of mentorship – like finding a good mentor,” he said. “Growing up, I wish I had more mentors. I grew up playing sports, so the coaches for me were a lifesaver. I wasn’t the best in school, but when it came to sports, I felt confident as hell in what I was doing, and that got me out of a lot of trouble.”
That early experience set the pattern for the rest of his career. “When I was a young professional, I sought out mentorship from people who were seasoned in their careers, and that was helpful,” George continued. “Now, moving into a mid-tier career, I serve as that mentor for young psychologists, social workers, counselors coming in – or it’s just young men in high school or college. We can make a difference. Those first-gen kids – we could change things. Mentorship is really important to me. I loved it when I received it, and I love being a mentor now.”
The evidence backs him up
George’s experience isn’t just one clinician’s impression – it lines up with the US Surgeon General’s Advisory on Youth Mental Health, which states plainly: “The most important thing a child needs to be resilient is a stable and committed relationship with a supportive adult.”
That same advisory shows that not every young person is affected in the same way. Apparently, “Girls are much more likely to be diagnosed with anxiety, depression, or an eating disorder… boys are more likely to die by suicide or be diagnosed with a behavior disorder, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).” And the stakes are rising for both. Between 2007 and 2018, suicide rates among youth ages 10–24 in the US increased by 57 percent.
How to actually help
The good news is that you don’t need to be a parent, a therapist, or someone’s “official” mentor to make a difference. As MHA National puts it, “If you’re someone young people trust, you don’t need to have all the answers. A simple check-in can be just what a young person needs to feel seen, supported, and less alone.”
That said, it helps to know the edges of your role. If a young person opens up to you, MHA National suggests being upfront about what you can and can’t offer. “Explain that you can provide advice and information, but only a parent or guardian can get them certain kinds of help, like a visit with a doctor or mental health professional.” And if what they share sounds like a crisis, don’t sit on it – the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available by call or text, and a free, confidential screening is available at screening.mha.org. Another resource is the Teen Line, a suicide prevention organization. Based in Los Angeles, but available to young people across the country, Teen Line offers a welcoming, non-judgmental space for teens to turn to other teens for support. It is available daily from 4pm - 8pm Central Time by phone/text (800-852-8336) or by email.
A coach, an aunt, a professor, a boss, a teammate – any of them can be the “stable, committed relationship” the Surgeon General’s report indicates. You don’t need a title. You just need to show up, consistently, for one thirty-two-year-old brain still figuring itself out. That, more than any single tip, is the thread running through this whole piece: the mentors young people remember weren’t experts. They were just there.
As always, if you need any more support or just want to talk with someone, you can contact us at MHAI directly.
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