Is your child resisting going back to school? It’s worth asking why.
- Joss Burns
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
It’s that time of year where children have either gone back to school or are in preparations for the big return. After the summer break, it is normal for this prospect to be met with resistance by the child.
In fact, a study in the UK “of 500 young people aged 11-16 years found that two in five found the return following the long summer break the most anxiety-inducing.”
As with all mental health issues, there are many levels and nuances to this phenomenon. It ranges from being an entirely normal sensation – one that us adults can fully identify with – to perhaps something deeper at play.
The “Summer Scaries”
This school-return anxiety is sometimes known as the “summer scaries” and it can have some harmful effects.
The UK study found that 20% of students say “back-to-school anxiety never ends for them.” This can have serious ongoing effects for the students who suffer from it. The study claims that a third can experience “emotional overwhelm”, while also leading to “cognitive symptoms like overthinking or poor concentration.”
Worse of all, a third of the students surveyed found that they couldn’t switch off during their summer break because of their anxiety about returning to school.
What is fuelling this anxiety?
This is perhaps the million-dollar question: what is the root cause of the child’s anxiety? And here is also the most important opportunity for any parent or guardian that notices high levels of distress at the prospect of returning to school.
Sit down and ask them.
The reason this is so important is because, as mentioned, there are levels here. The most normal and benign cause is the simple fact that having free time is more fun! We enjoy the summer break for the right reasons and readjusting to “normal life” takes some time. In many cases, having the conversation will show that the child just needs time to adjust. You can still help them, as we will discuss later, but there is nothing to worry about here.
Deeper issues of anxiety
Of course, when having the conversation, it may also become clear that something else is happening and it is worth taking your time to discover what it is. Generally speaking, the more serious root causes of back-to-school anxiety are either because of bullying or academic pressure.
Academic pressure
The UK study said that “stress about exams, tests, and schoolwork is their main source of anxiety” for 39% of students. A US-centric study found similar results. A Pew Research Center survey of US teens (13–17) claimed that 68% report "a great deal" or "a fair amount" of pressure to get good grades. This is the single largest source of pressure they report.
While we want to encourage our children to perform well, we have to remain vigilant to ensure that this pressure to succeed doesn’t have long-term negative consequences. There are too many cases of this having tragic results.
A study published in the American Psychologist (covered by the Association for Psychological Science) found that students from high-achieving school communities with higher levels of intense academic competition had rates of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse at roughly two to three times the national average. This led researchers to actually classify them as a distinct "at-risk" group – something only reserved previously for kids in poverty.
Students who face bullying
The other more severe issue is that of bullying. A Chicago mother recently came out to speak about her 8-year-old child, who endured bullying for months. She is now campaigning for better support. Dr. Joseph Troiani, past President of Mental Health America of Illinois and current board member, is featured in the NBC 5 - Chicago story speaking on the issue of school bullying.
This family’s story is far from a one-off case. Around 19% of students report suffering from bullying in school (2021–22 school year, published 2024), a number that varies according to sex, race, whether you are urban or rural, etc. In other words, there is a lot of nuance in that 19% number, with risk levels being as high as 30% for certain demographics.
About suspected bullying "It's really important for a parent to know what's going on. A child will become withdrawn, isolated, they won't talk about what is going on, they appear to be in distress, they might spend a lot more time alone. The level of interaction with family members might in fact decrease."- Dr. Joseph Troiani
What can I do as a parent?
There are many steps you can take as a parent.
Start the conversation early
Dr. Ariana Hoitt, a pediatric psychologist at Nationwide Children's Hospital, put it simply in a recent Mental Health America webinar: "if a child is not emotionally well, they're going to have a hard time performing academically."
That connection cuts both ways. The earlier you open a relaxed, low-pressure conversation about how your child is feeling about the return to school, the more room they have to name what's actually bothering them, rather than letting it build up silently over the summer.
Rebuild routines before day one
Community Choice Pediatrics recommends reintroducing school-day structure one to two weeks before term starts: shifting bedtimes earlier gradually, re-establishing predictable meal times, and, for younger kids, even role-playing what a school morning looks like.
Dr. Camille Wilson echoes this, noting that "creating some known routines that kids can participate in… can be really helpful and stabilizing." The goal isn't a perfect schedule overnight, simply familiarity, rebuilt gradually.
Foster belonging, not just performance.
Dr. Hoitt, from the MHA webinar, describes a sense of belonging as "a basic need. It's like needing water". Kids who feel connected to their school community tend to show better academic outcomes and lower anxiety. Simple, consistent check-ins ("who did you sit with at lunch?" rather than just "how was your test?") help reinforce that connection day to day.
Praise effort, not just results.
Dr. Wilson advises parents to "praise the effort and not just the grade… I like how hard you worked on that assignment," while Community Choice Pediatrics suggests reminding kids of times they've successfully handled new situations before, to build confidence heading into the year.
Know when to pause
If homework or routines trigger frustration, Dr. Shay suggests treating that as a signal, not a failure: "maybe that's a time to pause and take a break, do something else, come back." And if you notice mood swings, sleep changes, or withdrawal that last for weeks rather than days, that's the moment to loop in the school directly. Teachers and counselors are often the first and best point of contact.
Help your child start the new school year right
If your child is exhibiting signs of high levels of anxiety at returning to school, don’t just dismiss it as normal back-to-school nerves. While this is the most likely scenario, it is important to take the time to understand the root cause of the issue.
If you are worried about your child and are unsure how to proceed, remember that you can always reach out to us directly at MHAI for more personalized support.
Visit Mental Health America's website for back-to-school resources for students, teachers, parents and caregivers.
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