Understanding Suicide: A Critical Conversation

It came out of the blue.

Sure, they had been going through a rough period. But there was no indication that they would take such an extreme step as to end their own life. Or was there?

Suicide is an immensely challenging subject to comprehend. The severity and finality of the act often lead us to deny its possibility. Many of us struggle to accept that someone we love could consider this option. This denial contributes to the culture of silence surrounding the topic. Breaking this silence is essential.

When someone does take their own life, it shocks their family and friends. As part of the grieving process, they often look back, wondering what they could have done differently. In hindsight, they may notice the warning signs they were unwilling to acknowledge at the time.

This was Dr. Dimple Patel’s experience, a Board Member for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. In a podcast interview with MHAI, Dr. Patel shared her personal journey of loss after her mother took her own life.

“It was something I never expected, and it was hard to grasp,” she reflects. She often asks herself, “What did I not see?” Almost immediately, Dr. Patel recognized that “there were signs.” Her family had even intervened and taken her mother to a doctor.

Dr Dimple Patel holding a picture of her mother, Bhavana

The Truth About Suicide

According to the World Health Organization, over 720,000 people die by suicide every year. This makes it the third leading cause of death among individuals aged 15 to 29.

In the United States alone, over 49,000 people died by suicide in 2023, which translates to a death every 11 minutes.

Although a significant portion of suicides occur after warning signs, there were 1.5 million attempts in total in 2023. Many suicides appear to happen suddenly. The WHO notes that “many suicides happen impulsively in moments of crisis, with a breakdown in the ability to deal with life stresses, such as financial problems, relationship disputes, or chronic pain and illness.”

For this reason, it’s crucial to recognize both the major and minor warning signs. This awareness gives you the best chance of identifying the issue and stepping in to help your loved one.

Warning Signs That Someone Is Considering Suicide

As Dr. Patel emphasizes, “there were signs.” Regarding her mother, she recalls, “My mom had anxiety while driving. Her behavior changed. She was anxious a lot, worrying about what others would say about our family and other random things.”

Any one of these signs may seem inconsequential or even normal. However, when combined, they create a different picture. The key, as Dr. Patel states, is to intervene early.

“After going to grad school, I learned that the most important part is intervening early. Understanding the signs and symptoms of depression is crucial. Someone might be struggling with suicidal ideations, and it’s essential to make an active effort to say something without judging or making comments.”

This means we shouldn’t treat different warning signs as a checklist. Instead, as soon as you suspect someone may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, take action. Find a support system.

But what are the clues that someone may be struggling?

Some of the most common signs include:

• Verbal Cues: When someone speaks, believe them. It’s common for individuals grappling with suicidal feelings to mention death in various forms. This may be serious or expressed in a joking or sarcastic manner. Fans of chef and travel documentary maker Anthony Bourdain, who ended his life in 2018, may recall his seemingly light-hearted comments about suicide.

  
  

• Expressions of Guilt: People may express feelings of guilt or a sense of being a burden to others.

  
  

• Emotional Changes: Pay attention to whether someone appears sad, dejected, agitated, or full of rage. Extreme emotions, beyond what is considered normal, could be a warning sign.

  
  

• Sudden Mood Changes: It’s especially important to be vigilant if a friend or loved one appears to be in a good mood after a period of severe depression. This may indicate they have made a decision and developed a plan.

  
  

Dr. Patel noted that her family recognized a distinct change in her mother’s behavior. For her, anxiety was a significant indicator, but it could manifest in various ways for different individuals.

Some may engage in risky behaviors, such as reckless driving. Others might experience mood swings, changes in eating or sleeping patterns, or turn to drugs and alcohol as an escape.

Again, the sign here is based on your knowledge of the person.

The Road to Recovery

The road to recovery after a loss is deeply personal. It requires reflection, outside support, and, above all, time. One of our contributors, Michael Vinton, discussed his experiences in a personal and evocative article after his brother took his own life.

It is not easy. Dr. Patel still reflects, “I think one of my biggest regrets was not picking up my phone.” These feelings of “what ifs” may linger for the rest of our lives.

However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a way forward. Dr. Patel has found a way to confront her trauma and emerge stronger.

“I learned to forgive myself for things I didn’t see – or didn’t know. I didn’t know at that point,” she shares.

This insight is crucial in the healing journey she underwent, largely attributed to therapy. “I ended up falling in love with the process of therapy,” she states. “It provided me with an outlet.”

Affected by Suicide?

If you are feeling an urge to take your own life, please, before anything else, call the 988 hotline. This suicide and crisis line is available every day of the week, 24 hours a day, either by phone or via text. It is accessible in all 50 states and U.S. territories. Please note that any calls placed in Illinois will be routed to a local or regional center staffed with mental health professionals.

If you aren’t connected immediately, do not hang up, as you will be routed to an out-of-state counselor.

For anyone else who is concerned about someone close to them, you can contact Dr. Patel’s organization for further support. It is called the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and this link will direct you to the Illinois chapter.

For any other questions, feel free to contact us directly at MHAI.