Is going “no contact” good for your mental health?

The term “no contact” is trending, even reaching the attention of Oprah who recently did a segment on it. 

But let’s face it – there’s nothing new about making an intentional decision to stop communication with a person (or people) for a period of time, or even indefinitely. It has been used as a coping mechanism since time immemorial. 

The question is, does no contact help or is it an inherently unhealthy way to deal with strained relationships?

Is no contact healthy?

There are more types of relationships than flavors of ice cream and so saying that one – relatively extreme – approach is “healthy” or not is ignoring the nuance or complexity of individual contexts. 

Going “no contact” should not be a go-to option when there are viable alternatives to repair a relationship in a healthy, mutually beneficial way. That being said, there are certainly times when it is a good idea to take the more drastic decision and cut someone entirely out of your life. 

Again, this is a highly complex and traumatic topic that is full of nuance. So, let’s look at it through a few distinct lenses.

Personal safety and boundaries

Domestic violence or other situations that threaten your physical safety and privacy, or when an individual is exercising ongoing control over you constitute the most extreme types of interpersonal relationships. 

Here, at least, we can be clear. No person, no matter the relationship or situation, should have the right to negatively impact your personal safety. 

If this is your situation, we recommend wholeheartedly taking a no-contact approach, while also getting access to professional support, whether the police, a therapist, social worker or more. 

If you are unsure how to move forward, you can contact us directly at MHAI and our team will put you in touch with the relevant parties. 

Why no contact is important

In these situations, removing contact entirely is so important because it immediately reduces the risk you are facing, alongside either opportunities for physical, financial, or emotional abuse. It also creates space so that you can safely involve relevant support services or get legal protection.

Certain limitations to keep in mind

Relationships are never simple, and there are a number of limitations to keep in mind and plan for if you are thinking about going no contact. Remember that no contact is simply a decision by an individual and cannot replace actual legal protection (such as restraining orders). It is paramount to get the relevant legal support as well. 

In other situations, whether shared parenting, shared housing, or in workplaces, full no contact may not be immediately possible. Again, the solution here is to get professional services involved as no contact without a plan can lead to logistical problems or even escalate the conflict. 

Grace, forgiveness, and growth

Taking a no contact approach becomes more nuanced when we aren’t talking about situations that directly impact your physical safety. There is, once again, a balance involved. 

Does the state of the relationship constitute mental abuse? If not, what place does grace, forgiveness, and growth have? Should we give up on our relationships or fight for them? 

These aren’t questions that we can answer as they are highly personal. Instead, it’s worth looking at the benefits of forgiveness in mental health. A study found that forgiveness, when chosen and processed in therapy, can reduce anger, depression, and stress and improve interpersonal functioning in many contexts.

Forgiveness does not mean contact

There is an important point to keep in mind here. Forgiveness and no contact are not the same thing. You can have room for forgiveness without having contact with the person. Forgiveness isn’t a conversation or an agreement – it is a wholly personal and individual concept that is entirely in your control. It doesn’t require dialog or acceptance by anyone else.

Also, no contact doesn’t have to be forever. It may only be needed to create the emotional distance necessary to process hurt and practice perspective-taking, which can precede authentic forgiveness. 

Risks and ethical concerns

What we need to be careful of here is how we frame no contact, especially if you are a third party to a rupture. It may be, for example, that two people you are close with have had a deterioration in their relationship. Be careful not to frame no contact as a “failure to forgive,” as this risks shaming survivors and minimizing their need for boundaries.

Familial relationships and power

One of the most difficult to navigate situations is a breakdown of ties with your family – and there is no shortage of stories like this. So much can contribute to poor relationships, such as ongoing abuse, boundary violations, intergenerational trauma, and value or power clashes. 

Power dynamics 

One of the aspects that many individuals struggle with is the power dynamics that are at play when it comes to families. Everything from age, financial control, caretaking dependence, and more can complicate the ethics, decision-making, and practicality of no contact. This is complicated even more with cultural and societal expectations surrounding family units, with ideas of unconditional duty making individuals feel exceptionally guilty.

Does this mean you shouldn’t go no contact? Not at all. Your mental health is paramount and sometimes the situation does call for a removal of contact. But try to do it in a way that is as healthy as possible, relying on the support of loved ones, professionals, and more. 

No contact is effective – but not a first choice

Choosing no contact is a deeply personal decision, one shaped by safety needs, emotional boundaries, and the desire to break painful cycles. It’s rarely straightforward. Relief and grief often sit side by side, and both are valid. 

For some, stepping back creates the space needed to heal trauma, regain clarity, and rebuild inner stability. For others, it offers protection from patterns that have repeatedly harmed their well-being. 

No contact isn’t a failure of forgiveness or compassion – it’s a boundary that can coexist with growth, grace, and reflection. What matters most is being intentional, seeking support where needed, and allowing yourself to evolve. 

If you’re struggling, there are many resources available to help you around Illinois. You can call the 988 mental health hotline, contact us at MHAI, community counselling centers, or much more.